How are you is a question that you ask people when you haven’t seen them in awhile, as a kind gesture, and even just a conversation piece. When people generally ask “how are you” what are they really expecting to get as a response? Probably just “I’m good”, and the question asked back. It’s almost rare for a person to really say anything other than “I’m good”. Which in the big picture, I suppose is a good thing.

Just think about this for a moment though… How many times have you been asked how you are and didn’t actually feel great but that was what you responded with anyway? There was one day I decided to take a half day at work because I began to feel sick. When I was walking out with my sickly looking face, big puffy jacket on, and scarf half way over my face, I was asked by a fellow employee, “how are you doing?” Clearly, I was not in the condition to say “I’m good! How are you today” but out of habit and kindness that was exactly what I had said. We, as people, in some instances don’t want to inconvenience others. I see this co-worker throughout the week in the office so most of our conversations are “hi, how are you” back and forth. It just becomes so impersonal and almost cliche.

This thought came to me through a conversation I had with someone. They implied that a person they met for the first time was having a bad week and opened up to them completely. And yes, it did sound like a BAD week so it was uncomfortable to talk about with someone that you don’t know. I get it to a point though. If you can’t contain the frustration, sometimes it can just come out.

It is interesting though because what if you are actually having a bad day? What if one of these times you say to the person, “I’m actually not having the best day.” Once that happens the whole mood can change. The person may feel obligated to ask what is the matter and if you start to open up, the person then looks at you funny. Not always but it happens. Why ask how I’m feeling or how I am if you don’t really want to hear about it?

I do understand when you don’t know someone too well it is uncomfortable to listen to their problems and give the “correct” feedback. At the same time why isn’t it okay to open up, even just a little? You may be thinking “well Samm, would you feel uncomfortable if someone you didn’t know started opening up to you?” especially with the people you work with. Well yeah, I can’t say I wouldn’t but I also wouldn’t mind talking with someone if they need to get something off their mind. A lot of them you are spending 40 hours a week with, even if you aren’t on the same team or work directly with them. It isn’t always easy to put on a fake face and smile through your pain or sickness. When it comes the time that you don’t then people think you are just rude but that is not always the case. Next time someone, anyone asks “how are you”, give them an honest answer. See how they react to you. Emotions don’t have to be completely out in the open but even just to say “I don’t feel that great today.” Try it out!

I decided to use a picture of narcissus flowers (aka daffodils) because they are suppose to be a symbol of rebirth and new beginnings. A hello can be an opening for a new friendship, or even just a new outlook on life through others experiences. Although there doesn’t seem to be a direct connection to the blog with that meaning, I felt that it was fitting.

See ya,
Samm 🙂